You don’t learn much in college. You endure insipid brainwashing. And don’t me get started on the dehumanizing Covid theater. Signaling is the only good reason to go. Still, once you’re on campus, you might as well make the most of it. I’ve been in college non-stop for the last 33 years, and I’ve been paying close attention. Here is how I advise you to get good value for all the time and money you’re spending.
1. Read teaching reviews before you pick your classes. Teaching ability varies widely, so even though the average is low, you rarely need to suffer with a mediocre teacher.
2. Always sit in the front row. Ask questions. Talk to the professor before and after class. Even if they seem like crazy ideologues, you can learn a lot by asking thoughtful questions. If only at the meta level.
3. Type your professors’ names into Google Scholar to see what they’ve been doing with their lives. Then go to office hours and talk to them about their work. Come with questions that clearly won’t be on the test.
4. Crucial: Start doing this when you’re a freshman! At that stage, no one will wonder if you’re just trying to suck up for a future letter of recommendation.
5. Go to the Faculty webpage for every major you’re seriously considering. Look at everyone’s research specialties. If you think there’s a 5% or greater chance that you would find a professor interesting, type his name into Google Scholar. If you still think there’s a 5% chance you would find the professor interesting, go to their office hours and ask him some questions about his work.
6. Don’t be shy. Most professors are bored and lonely. Even at top schools, they almost never meet anyone who knows and cares about their work. They want you to show up… even if they don’t know it yet.
7. If you and a professor hit it off, keep reading their work and keep visiting their office. Ask them to lunch. Becoming a professor’s favorite student is easy, because the competition is weak.
8. Be extremely friendly to everyone. Always give a good hello to everyone in your dorm every time you see them. “Good hello” equals eye contact + smile + audible.
9. Never eat alone! If you don’t know anyone in the cafeteria, find a small group of students that looks promising and politely ask to join them. Almost everyone will say yes.
10. See if your school has an Effective Altruism club. If it does, attend regularly. Even if you have zero interest in philanthropy, EA is a beacon of thoughtful curiosity.
11. Be a friendly heretic. Openly regard official brainwashing with bemusement. This will generate propitious selection: Many students are as skeptical of the orthodoxy as you. If you’re good-natured about it, they will reveal themselves to you.
12. During Covid, live your life as normally as possible. Bend every rule you can, and associate with the most non-compliant students you can find. Because your school is trying to dehumanize you, you must strive to retain your humanity.
13. Avoid drunken parties. They really are grossly overrated. Just counting hangovers and accidents, the expected value is probably negative. Strive to be uninhibited without artificial assistance. And remember: The people who really enjoy alcohol are also the people most likely to ruin their lives with alcohol.
14. While you’re avoiding drunken parties, try to find true love. Despite the Orwellian propaganda, you are extremely unlikely to be persecuted just for asking someone out on a date. Remember: You will never again have such an easily-accessible candidate pool. In the modern world, dating co-workers is dead, but dating co-students lives. For now.
READER COMMENTS
David Henderson
Feb 22 2022 at 10:17am
All excellent advice.
I didn’t follow them all when I was an undergrad, but I followed a few.
One I completely followed was #13. My mother was an alcoholic who did highly inappropriate things while drunk. I worried that I might have the gene. Also drinking is expensive and I was paying my own way through college. Number of drinks I had before age 21: zero. Well, actually one. When I worked in the nickel mine in northern Manitoba when I was 18, someone spiked my Coke with rye. I realized they were trying to initiate me and so I went along and drank it.
zeke5123
Feb 22 2022 at 10:26am
How does #13 square with your views on Szasz? Presumably, people like going to parties because…they routinely go to parties. Yes, there can be negative outcomes (just like there can be negative outcomes from certain things we call addiction). But I thought — correct me if I am in error — your prior position was sure addicts claim “I can’t help it” but that is just SDB. Instead, they prefer their addiction.
Philo
Feb 22 2022 at 1:23pm
People go to parties to have fun, not become addicts (which no one wants). But people sometimes behave foolishly (which Szasz does not deny!), and good advice can help them behave more sensibly.
But I think you already know all this, and are just trolling.
zeke5123
Feb 23 2022 at 10:41am
Not trolling.
Yes, people make foolish decisions (e.g., drug addicts). But Caplan takes the point that such people are making decisions that to them are utility maximizing (even if we don’t view it that way).
He is saying drunken parties have likely a net negative. More accurately, it is a likely net negative to Caplan. Just like being a drug addict would be a net negative to Caplan. But for some people drunken parties are not a net negative. And the reason we know this is…some people keep going to drunken parties.
Monte
Feb 22 2022 at 11:01am
If you’re a beautiful, young college freshman, be very discreet when following the advice in #7. You might otherwise find yourself an unwitting victim of #14. The proprieties must be observed…
jjap
Feb 22 2022 at 3:16pm
How could one be a victim of “true love”?
Monte
Feb 22 2022 at 9:41pm
More a victim of “unrequited love.”
Cecil Bohanon
Feb 22 2022 at 11:14am
I love this line “Openly regard official brainwashing with bemusement.” This is the BEST and ONLY coping strategy. Not a good idea to respond to resentment, contempt and self righteousness with more resentment, contempt and self-righteousness. You just hurt yourself. So be amused without being contemptuous. People think crazy things and the sun still rises!!
MarkW
Feb 22 2022 at 11:59am
That’s great advise for discussing the brain-washing after the fact. But during the brainwashing sessions themselves where participation is not really optional and earnest agreement is expected?
Philo
Feb 22 2022 at 1:27pm
This is good advice especially for students with an academic bent. Those who are just in college for the credential can take 2-7 with a grain of salt.
Bill Conerly
Feb 22 2022 at 4:28pm
#1 is excellent.
Going into graduate school, I had no interest in international econ, but the older students told me that Ed Tower was the best teacher in the department. I took his courses and learned more than in any of my other courses. In fact, the micro I learned in International Trade was better than what I learned in my Microeconomics courses.
Jonathan S
Feb 22 2022 at 8:24pm
RE: professors want you to show up
When I was a PhD student, I found about 1/3 of my professors nearly impossible to sit down with even during their posted office hours. And when I would sit down with them, they often would be too busy to talk for more than 10-15 minutes even when scheduled.
The other 2/3 of professors were extremely accessible. They were excited to talk about just about anything with just about anybody that would sit down with them in their office.
steve
Feb 23 2022 at 11:59am
Looking back it seems to me that I learned quite a bit in a lot of classes as an undergrad. Was working full time so had to be organized but learned lots of math, science, religion, philosophy and even some history. Took one class in business contract law which stayed with me for a long time and has been helpful.
My take is that if students dont learn it is due to the students themselves. Lots of opportunity.
Steve
Matthias
Feb 25 2022 at 10:43pm
If you pick the right university and the right major, you do learn a lot and don’t have much brainwashing to content with.
Eg I learned a lot studying math in a German university in the mid-2000s. Physics or some kind of engineering there would have also been fine.
However I agree that most people probably learn less and have to suffer more brainwashing. (Especially if you have some requirements to take all kinds of unrelated classes like they seem to have in the US?)
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